Keep writing…I have too…before it’s to late. I can do this, I’m the only one who can do this.

Keep me going J.C…I can do this. I have to…

Okay, since I started back in October I have an impressive 40+ pages. That’s amazing. I do owe most of it to the fall break we had recently, where I was able to knock out at least 20 pages in one week. It’s harder than I thought however, I am writing everyday, but these plot gaps are driving me crazy.

Character development is harder than I thought, I don’t want my characters emotionless, or I don’t want them to be associated with a certain feeling. I want the reader to feel as if these characters are human.

Ah, I guess I’ll write some more tonight. Hopefully I’d get at least a page in, but this homework is stacking up, so I have to focus on it for now.

 

Obama, what can I say? I’m happy for the guy. Technically he made history, however that’s not what I care about. He made history because of his race, now I’m waiting to see if he makes history with his ideas.

I think he’s a smart and laid back dude, while the pressure is immense, he’s level-headed and calm (from what we’ve seen at least).

I will go out my way to say this, Bush wasn’t a terrible president. He did a lot of things that got overlooked, I don’t feel like going into detail, but they’re a reason the U.S hasn’t been hit with another terrorist attack, there’s a reason they are so many trees (forests) still around, there’s a reason more cargo is coming from Africa, there’s a reason. Guess who did that? Yeah.

Obama is doing too much, he constantly makes promises and I’m afraid he won’t be able to keep them all. Believe me, while that healthcare bill was a milestone, he still has the economy, the job market, internal government scandals, and the wars in both Iraq and Afghanistan.

Promising to end the “don’t ask don’t tell” rule just seems like more of an annoyance, you’ll have to waste time fighting Congress, drawing up a bill, and getting it passed. Which is time-consuming. It’s little things like this that’ll ruin his presidency. Like Bush, the important, but less important things will get overlooked by the extremely important things.

If there is anyway on God’s green Earth that Obama or someone close to Obama is reading this listen:

Nigga, I repeat, nigga, get on yo’ shit.

I am optimistic, which is odd because I’m usually pessimistic…anyway, I think that Obama will do well, I guess he just needs to get the hang of things. He is only human. People go crazy, like when he won the Nobel Peace Prize. People were like “OH  MUH GOD, HE DIDN’TZ DESERVE THAT!”

Well maybe he didn’t, I could tell you of a couple people who didn’t deserve it either, but got considerably less attention. It’s keeping his morale up, something Bush didn’t have, and we all know how wonderful his terms turned out.

I guess we’ll have to wait to see what he does for the next four years.

In the mean time, right now most people are saying:

Ah, school. More a thorn in my side then a help. Most teachers don’t understand that students really do have better things to do with their time then do filler homework. All classwork and homework does at my school is occupy our time, so that the teacher appears to be doing his or her job. Most teachers don’t even bother to talk to us about the material, and when they do they spend most of the time covering what “we should already know”. If we should know it already why are wasting our time with it?

I personally hate “lazy” teachers, these are the teacher that love praise but hate actual work. Some of these teachers run clubs, extra curricular activities, and sports. Yet they rely entirely on the student to do a good job, and have the audacity to reap the rewards (take credit).

I’ve joined my local FEA (Future Educators of America). It’s a joke, I don’t want to be a teacher, but I couldn’t believe how arrogant and rude many of people are, and I’m talking about the other schools, not my group. I’m literally getting pushed and shoved, people are yelling move. Well behaved my ass. The speeches are given by real teachers, most of whom think they’re the shit. When you think you’re shit you have a tendency to talk just to hear yourself talk. This one teacher talked our ear off about her life and how good she was at teaching. Really? No one gives a damn. I fell asleep twice in that damn auditorium and I don’t care who heard me snore.

I hate it when teachers ramble to something unrelated to the subject, taxpayer money down the drain right there. If a teacher rambles and makes me laugh, then I don’t care, I’m entertained. If they ramble about something that puts me to sleep or just pisses me off, then I’m mad. Sounds Hypocritical, it is. I don’t care.

Sometimes I just want to ask my teachers…

unfortunately that’ll result in a write up, me getting suspended, and my mom beating the fuck out of me when I get home. Uh, uh, that shit ain’t happenin’

I will admit there has been a few good teachers in my time; more recently my AP English teacher, while she is a complete jackass sometimes, her teaching abilities are unmatched when I compare them to other teachers in my school. I have a deep respect for her, and she’s slowly (and reluctantly) becoming one of my favorite teachers.

In all, I guess when I have to just suck it up, different teachers have different teaching styles, whether these styles are actually effective relies entirely upon the students. You either adapt (deal with it) or abandon (get your schedule changed).

Don’t even get me started on substitutes…

I’m starting my novel tomorrow. I’m going to sleep, go to school, come home, do chores, and then I’ll start.

Here goes nothing.

I love school I personally do, however this school year isn’t turning out as planned. Gradewise, I’m stable, but I’m fighting just to maintain my average. It’s not that the work is hard, oh no. It’s the quantity of the work. I get assignments nearly everyday from every class, and these assignments are small, however, they stack up. Writing assignments, chemistry worksheets, and math problems all accumulate into one giant mass of annoyances. I’m reading a book in AP English, (the Scarlet Letter), tomorrow I have an essay due, I also have to study for a test on the same day, and last but not least, there’s always the threat of a pop quiz or reading log check over the Scarlet Letter. Fuck me.

Yeah, it’s like this, for nearly every class. While Arts and Humanities is pretty easy, and U.S History isn’t too tough,  Honors Chemistry, AP English, Algebra II, and surprisingly AVID are a pain in the ass.

Teachers seem to not care or notice that I have six other classes, along with that I have a bedtime of 10:00pm. Which means I have only seven hours to do my ten hours of homework. I have no recreational time or anything. And despite this I ALWAYS forget something and I end up cramming DURING school.

While I know most of this is my fault, I just felt like writing it. Mainly because while students procrastinate and don’t do their work, teachers should be wary that students have a lot more going on in their lives than next week’s test questions.

My suggestions to this type of problem

1: Write assignments down. It honestly helps.

2: Plan ahead, work ahead. While it’s easier to lay back and wait to the last minute, it’s incredibly hard to work under time related pressure.

3: Make up any late or missing assignments. Don’t be afraid or to lazy to ask, most teachers will give you some credit for your efforts and will even increase their respect for you.

4: Time. Use it. While there are a thousand things I would rather do than homework, I know it needs to be done, so get off Facebook or whatever and get started on your homework, so you won’t be doing it at lunch.

5: Remind yourself it’s worth it. High School is my ticket to college, that’s all I see it as, while that a pretty depressing insight I know I need it to move forward. That’s what keeps me motivated.

As most people would know, I’m not the most popular at school. I can proudly say however, that my high school years are turning out to be the best of my school years. I was picked on constantly during both Middle School and Elementary School. I wasn’t well liked, so I resorted to academics, when I received ridicule from my peers I was met with appreciation from my teachers.  However, not being able to connect ith children my age was completely devastating to me. Then, I guess my peers matured, more people started judging me on my personally than appearance (which is why I was picked on) I started to talk more, the more I talked, the more people listened. I discovered social skills I never knew I had. I could talk to someone on Facebook without getting rejected, I could walk into a group without getting made fun of (well I still got made fun of, but in a playful way). I felt normal.

I never really noticed girls until high school. High school is mainly where I started speaking to girls in general. While the girl I have a crush on now isn’t my “first crush” I can proudly say she’s my “true crush”. What is a “true crush”? Let me explain. Most crushes are simply short periods of infatuation with a person. This person is seen as a romantic interest, however the interest if brief, usually ending three ways.

1: The person finds a new crush.

2: The person finds a flaw with person they have a crush on.

3:  The person loses interest over time.

However, a “true crush” (what I have) can end in only one way.

1: I ask the girl out, to receive either approval or rejection.

-  If I’m approved, then the crush ends, because I’m going out with my crush.

-  If I’m rejected, then I may lose interest, because my crush has no interest in me.

 Ah, I’ve rambled again. I should stop now, if one day my crush does read this she may think I’m a creep then an admirer.

The damn book’s not even written and I’m already stressing over how am I going to get my book published. I want to do HarpersCollins, their authonomy website looks nice, however more people are writers than readers are and I fear my story won’t get read or not properly reviewed. I understand other people want to write and become novelists like I, but most of them are egotistic jerks that refuse to read other people’s work. Instead they focus on their novel and their novel alone. I’ve joined Authonomy nevertheless, if I post the first few chapters of my book there I will literally have to claw my way from the bottom to the top five books just so the editors can “read” my manuscript. I’ve seen books in the top five for months, yet they don’t get published.

 

Unlike some authors I refuse to self publish myself, it’s too much of a hassle, I need someone to take care of the printing, selling and distribution of my work. I also refuse to get printed by a little known publisher. I’m not being arrogant, I’m being smart, the chances of a small or little known publisher advertising my book is slim, the book getting noticed by major book reviewers is even slimmer. So not to sound like a jerk, but I have to aim for the big leagues.

 

I need four things in a publisher:

 

1: Advertising

2: A contract (meaning that after they publish my book, they force me to write another, meaning that I still have work and won’t have to go through the publisher hunt again).

3: Adequate Pay (I’m not looking for J.K Rowling pay here, however, if my book does sell I want to at least be able to by my Mom some nice things.)

4: Support (I hope if I get bad reviews (and I pray to God I don’t) my publisher will back me up. If I get rave reviews, I want them to publicize the Hell out of me.)

4: Creative freedom (I really don’t want to get censored.)

 

Now I know the realism of this is very unrealistic, but I’m serious about them. I’m not making demands or anything, but I would like my publisher (if I ever get one) to be open minded.

 

Well all I have to do is keep writing and dreaming and one day maybe I’ll get the chance to argue with my publishers over the content of my books.

 

One day…

Procrastination seems to be my biggest enemy right now (that and overconfidence). I tell myself constantly that I’ll do something one a specific day, at a specific time and I always fail myself. Consistently I am cramming to do my English homework 20 minutes before the bell rings and it is honestly getting tiring. I haven’t play my Xbox in months, so that’s not a problem. I’m rarely on Facebook, I don’t have many friends, I don’t watch TV as much as I used to. So I’ve come to two conclusions.

 

Sleep and the Internet.

 

I plan to wake up a certain time to get ready for school, typically 5:00am. However, I end up snoozing until 6:00am and that’s when my schedule gets hectic, I forget to eat breakfast, I don’t check up on my homework in my bookbag and I end up leaving stuff at home, and I don’t get the extra time to catch up on the news to be up to date with current events. This is bad for business.

 

The Internet is a HUGE time waster, I try to do homework, but end up surfing and reading all these articles on everything from how to detect swine flu to the Waco Texas siege. I mean it is getting out of control. My mind wonders from one question to another, and unfortunately the Internet is there to answer (or at least try answer) all of them. This is also bad for business.

 

So I’ve come to one solution. Find a solution.

 

I need my sleep, but I don’t need anymore than eight hours, while I’m not an adult I still should have energy, me sleeping from 9:00pm to 6:00am is just sad. I’ve sent my bedtime to around either 10:00pm or 11:00pm, no later than that. I will wake up at 5:00am no exceptions.

 

As for the Internet, I’m “addicted” as they say. Not to chat rooms or porn, but just the ability to get any information I want at the click of a button, it’s like a digital library. So, when I’m online I’ve simply must become more productive. Less random articles, more college applications and scholarship forms, less stupid forum debates, more novel research.

That, and simply do things ahead of time.

 

I think I can do it.

I’ve been planning to get started on this novel for some time, I have the plot, characters, theme, and ideas down but when I start to write it I cringe. I guess I have a lot riding on this, I want to be published and reconized.